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I used to want to die.Take a look at this papers background… It’s blank right?
That’s what your life is every day if you do nothing about it.
The world is your canvas you paint it, not anyone else.
Pick up your paint brush and paint a beautiful sky that you want to see everyday
Or YOU choose to paint a tornado that takes everything from you, and eventually takes your life if you paint it too many times.
Trust me. It isn’t worth it. I know that’s it is hard, you tell me you can’t do it but you can. My God or your God believes you can get through this!
He believes that you are tougher than every person around you.
He believes th

Brokeback PewdieCry[This fic is actually too long to upload here, so please go to my FanFiction account, or go straight (hue) to the fic here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9301339/1/Brokeback-PewdieCry]

Sleep ParalysisThe demon visited me once again today.

Yes, today. Not tonight or the night before or after; times you’d think a demon would be out. This demon knows no such boundaries, it would seem, and so it usually visits me in the morning.

I lay in bed, having woken up much earlier than I wanted or needed to, with my eyes shut in hopes of remedying the situation. My body relaxed several times, and I felt sleep just within my grasp…
But several times my body found some fault with the split second-imagery of my dreams and jolted me awake, leaving me frustrated, but not deterred.
I would prefer it to what happens next.
The final time I shut

I reread the note todayHe was so self-conscious that he began to come across as bizarre: a thin young man with gaunt cheekbones who slouched around the edges of conversations waiting for a chance to politely cut in, but to those more extroverted he seemed a creep or a voyeur. I knew him a year in silent passing before we had a conversation on the winding staircase beside the wall of windows.

Paused with intention, he stood above me and, backlit by a pale grey January morning, I could see all the blackened angles of his figure in contrast with his hands which rested bright upon the railing: smooth and golden, sparsely haired. When he smiled, he bared all his teeth,

Important You see a different side of a people when they sleep. Some people become rolling and boiling oceans, thrashing around in fits of emotional rage. Others become soft trains, riding down a long peaceful track. Even still, some make an unconscious decision to tell you their life story.
For me, my person becomes a beautiful place of serenity. Whilst he's awake, he's comical, vibrant, and alive. But sleeping, all of those wonderful attributes that make him him, they all become much quieter. All stress and anxiety seemingly disappear from under his radar, leaving only peace of mind and calm. While sleeping, he is more than beautiful.
Sleep is important. But for me, it is not for the reasons scientists say it is. It is a chance to find beauty in those around you where you may not commonly see it, Sleep is a chance to hold someone close, when you're too fearful while conscious.
Find your beauty. N

Forever LetterDear You,

I've known you for a long time and I thought that we could tell
each other anything, but now I know it isn't true. I knew that
your condition was worsening, but I didn't know it was so bad.
I found out that you had cancer the other day. You tried to hide
it from me, but I found the chemo dates in that pocket in your
bag you thought hid everything from the world. From me. From
me, your only trusted person in the universe. And that's not all
I discovered.

Those chemotherapy dates were expired, past. You've been through
maybe six or seven tests now. And I talked to your doctor about
it and he told me that you have maybe three weeks l

The Standard TwistWhat’s considered Normal
If we're all considered Odd,

Is Normal having no beliefs,
Is Normal loving God?

Is Normal picking up a smoke,
And lying down to rest,

Is Normal being better than you can be,
Is Normal really the best?

Is Normal a thing I can strive for,
Is it something I should be,

Is Normal the word you'd use to describe,
What you see when you see me?

In a world full of questions,
I like to ask myself,

If normal is something we aim for,
Why all those trophies on our shelves?

Because awards come from Oddity,
Where you do things with your heart,

And if you do them Normally,
You're hopeless from the start,

Oddity is what

A Stand for Sexuality.I’ve been waiting a while to get the chance and write this just to put it out there and try and make a difference. First of all;

Definition of Homosexual:
adjective
(of a person) sexually attracted to people of one's own sex.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction between people of the same sex: homosexual desire.
noun
a person who is sexually attracted to people of their own sex.

Definition of Homophobia:
noun
an extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people.

Now I guarantee that so many people who are homophobic or are uncomfortable with homosexuals, bisexuals, or anyone that is not hetero

Twisted SmilesI stand here looking at the cloudy sky above me. It smiles its most maniacal smiles and laughs as rain begins to pour from the murky heavens. I simply stare into the rain and begin to smile back.

It is my most delirious smile, full of mischief and laughter. The rain responds with a quiet gust of laughing wind. My twisted smile, it curves even further.

I take a deep breath and laugh, knowing that inside of this madness, that this is where I want to be. It is here where my heart desires to be, it is here where I belong, it is here where I am immersed in this sunken abyss.

The raven with his call of laughter, he never seemed so loud. Even in

This ManThis man is different from Pa. He's like a distinct reflection, making my world and understanding different than before.

Ma says that this man once told her that Pa was stupid to drop our family. After that, I always sat in my room--well, a room not MY room--wondering..........what was so special about my family? We're probably one of the worst families there is. A lost woman, now the head of a bunch of lost members, a dazed teenager, an isolated gamer, a quick tempered girl and two pets, who would want to choose us?

His family is more interesting. His wife is one of the religious group leaders at church, his daughter is a high school gradu

If OnlyIf only you could understand the depths to which I hate myself; like a maniac bottled inside a cage with barbed wire around his throat. If only you could see the blood I've shed, bottled up and buried with the last remnants of my being, just to stop offending your eyes. If only you could fathom the horrors these two eyes have lived; so potent in the night, rendering me sleepless still. If only you could feel the fire burning in my chest; the relentless yearning transfixed behind thick walls of flesh. If only you could touch the longing; so desperate, like a fish that swims through sewers, calling out behind dark corners; begging for another l

Blame and TrustNo one really thinks about it when they pick up the knife,

“Yo-ho! I’m here, the party can start now baby!” a girl with dark brown hair, it could be easily be mistaken as black in shadows. In truth there was a faint violent tang to it from her most recent hair-dye. She wore a black tank top and blue jeans there were broken on the knees. A black wrist band and her hair was clipped up making it spike and bounce with each step. Her shoes were black but had a white stripe on the very bottom. She also wore a dark azure ring on the opposite hand, around her middle finger. The way her right side of her face was a long thick hair l

to everyone who gave me a fav to everyone who gave me a fav thank you very much

The American Nightmare*Caution: This story is not safe for young children. It is very scary.*
A little girl comes skipping into her house. She has a bright, cheery smile upon her face and she's holding dandelions in her hands. But soon, the smile is wiped off her face as she opens the fridge...
To her terror, there is nothing to eat. Sadly, due to her American diet and 1st world problems, the only food she is capable of digesting is soda, potato chips, and hamburgers. Not once in her life has she thought of trying some fruit or vegetables. For she is an American.
"Mother!" she cries, "There is nothing to eat!" The little girl falls to her knees and weeps because she's too blind to see that there is still food in the refrigerator. Her handful of dandelions fall to the floor along with her tears.
But there is no reply, because the hunger has already taken her dear old mother. And there is no reply fr

HeartbreakHeartbreak

Do you remember that time you met this guy who seem so great?

Course you do. This is about you as we all know.

So yeah, that guy what was his name again?

Who cares, it's not like anyone cares about him now, especially not you.

… One of those guys, one of those stereotype guys. You know those tall, dark, handsome type guys.

Oh yeah he was also mysterious.

Yeah one of those guys someone you could fall for, If you're not careful.

Unfortunately, that's what happened to you. It wasn't your fault really. He was good at hiding who he truly was.

Things are good at first but then again, aren't they all?

He made you feel

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Project Teenz Ch5: Courtney and Kelsey's Nightmare

Courtney

"So what do you think of Skyler and Kelsey," Dawn asks me putting on her PJ's. "They're okay," I tell her pulling up my shorts.

Skyler and Kelsey are okay, but I'm still not sure if I fully like them. When I look at Skyler all I see a skinny blonde that serious needs to go eat a biscuit. Kelsey says that she's an underage drinker and I would've never knew that if she wouldn't have said that. To me Kelsey looks like a tomboy who looks prepared to kick my ass at anytime.

"What do you think of them?" I ask her hoping in my bed. "They're both okay, Skyler seems sweet and Kelsey looks hardcore." I laugh at her as she turns out the ligh

Project Teenz Ch 4:Girl Talk

Dawn

The girls and I sit on the living room floor around the coffee table eating pizza in silence. I look around the table at the girls waiting on someone to start a conversation. I look over at Skyler who is sitting beside me and she's picking at her food after one bite, Courtney keeps on frowning as she eats, and Kelsey just keeps quiet as she eats. I'm getting sick of the silence so I decide to get a conversation going.

"So, is anyone going to talk or are we just going to sit here all night." I watch as the girls look at me and smile. "Thank you so much for talking. I hate being the one that has to start talking." Skyler says smiling as

Project Teenz Ch3:Group Talk

Skyler

Kelsey and I are up stairs on the pool deck sitting on two lounge chairs observing the view of Long Beach.

"What do you think of Samantha," I ask Kelsey. "I don't know for sure, but there is something I like about her." Kelsey tells me, "why do you think she chose to spell Teen with an z instead of an s?" "Probably because she figured that spelling it with an z would make the program sound cool." I joke as Kelsey laughs.

We hear a noise behind us that sounds like cars' door closing. Kelsey gets up and walk behind us towards the railing of the deck and looks down.

"Hey, here come two more cars." Kelsey tells me as she motions me to

Project Teenz Ch2: Arrivals and Roommates Part 2

Dawn

After letting out all our emotions we finally arrive to the place. My pulls up slowly behind a black Honda. I watch as a blonde girl, about my age, steps out of the car wearing too little black booty shorts, a white cami that stops above her naval, a silver belly button ring and big hoops to match, black Chuck's, and a pair black shades sitting on top of her head. I stare at her as she looks my way and makes a face. Boy, she sure does have a stank attitude.

My mom parks the car and turns to look at me. "Do you need any help," my mom ask me opening her door. "No I don't have that many." I grab my stuff from the back seat and open the ca

Project Teenz Ch2: Arrivals and Roommates Part1

Skyler

"We're here," my mom tells me waking me up. I rub my eyes and look out the window to at the view. We pull up to the driveway behind an empty black Chrysler. "You ready," my mom asks me cutting off the car. I sigh, " I guess so." We both step out of the car. My mom starts taking my bags out the car while I take a look at the view. This house is so beautiful. It's not too big and not too small. I walk back to our car to help my mom carry my bags in.

"You like this place so far," my mom asks me as we walk over the stone patio to that leads to a brown marble door. I smile, "yeah the house is beautiful." My mom sets down some of my bags

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Daddy

by ~JoyMcD, Sep 9, 2011, 3:51:46 PM
Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

Daddy likes to drink.
Daddy likes to smoke.
Daddy likes to hit.
Daddy likes to touch us.
Daddy likes to starve us
Daddy likes to call us names.
Our daddy doesn't love us.

Daddyby ~JoyMcD

Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

©2011-2013 ~JoyMcD

Dis is juz something i thought of.

!secretagent-j-m-k Sep 9, 2011

I will admit, this stuff doesnt happen to me, but I can semi-relate;

My dad calls me names, doesnt talk to me, and screams at me for things I Don't do; EVEN WHEN I SAY I DIDNT DO IT. I Don't understand why he does this; at this point to me, he's just a big bully. And honestly, I'm sick of it. I love the poem, by the way (:

Reply

~JoyMcD Sep 9, 2011

aww danks

im really srry d@ ur dad treats u lke d@

i hope it gets better 4 u

Reply

!secretagent-j-m-k Sep 9, 2011

(:

Its okay, nits not your fault at all

You're very nice, you know that

? Random, but I wanted you to know that XD

Reply

~JoyMcD Sep 9, 2011

awww danks im been told

Reply

!secretagent-j-m-k Sep 12, 2011

^^

Reply

~FallenTributes Sep 9, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

It's so sad

Reply

~JoyMcD Sep 9, 2011

ik

danls 4 da

Reply

~FallenTributes Sep 9, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

I hope it's not true

and no prolem ^^

Reply

~JoyMcD Sep 9, 2011

no its not its juz somethin i dough of n my head.
But i hate 2 say it but dere r tru stuff lke dis

Reply

~FallenTributes Sep 9, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

Sadly yes it is true sometimes

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